the officially irreverent guide to boutique wine making
step 4: stomping on grapes
contrary to what you might think, there's a lot more to pressing grapes than meets the eye. you might assume it's just a bunch of jumping up and down in a container of grapey/winey goo but, as this comprehensive computer analysis reveals, it is in fact an age-old symbiotic par de deux of homo erectus in trusted bucket of wine.
watch the feet very carefully. note the elegant, figure-of-eight motion that gathers the grape slurry from the side of the vat and squashes it to the centre in a continuous paddling action.
stop watching the breasts. although, you'd be forgiven for thinking they are an integral part of the physical process. they maintain an equilibrium of balance and momentum as they rise and fall in joyous synchronicity with the heaving mound of liquefied heaven which builds below, rising ever upward from shin to thigh, until exploding in tumultuous abundance...
um. I got a bit off the track there. back to the feet….
the grapes are squashed into grape goo. the contents of the vat is strained into barrels.
go to next stage of wine production
return to dogshead
© Dr Leik Peedersen PhDD in Globular Dynamics from the ACME University of Walla Walla Washington. associated article HERE.